How to get the most out of therapy
Individual therapy is an emotional and financial investment. Your therapist wants you to get the biggest return on that investment. Just like outside of the therapeutic space, your time and energy is valuable, so let’s explore some components that may allow you get the most out of the therapy process while respecting your time, energy, and investment into yourself.
Find a therapist that is a good fit for you
This is probably the most important part of getting the most out of therapy. With increased access to Telehealth in the last few years, some of the barriers of finding a therapist have been slightly lowered, and many individuals are able to have greater access to a selection of therapists in their state. The therapeutic fit is crucial to healing and feeling seen and understood. For example, if you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you may desire a therapist that is affirming and supportive and versed in the LGBTQ+ community. If you don’t have access to a therapist with these qualifications, or if you have a therapist that isn’t affirming, that may create harm towards your wellbeing and not be how you are wanting to use your time and energy. To see some tips on finding a therapist, please click here.
Honesty and transparency
Honesty and transparency in therapy is critical. If honesty isn’t present in the therapeutic space, the work you may do in therapy may feel surface level and you may not see the growth that you are looking for. Honesty may look like sharing the feelings you are uncomfortable with, confronting hard truths about yourself and your environments, or sharing things you have never shared before with another human. Your therapist should create a space in the room for unconditional positive regard, so that whatever you share, you will be met with empathy and no judgment. It can take time to develop trust with your therapist so that you feel safe to share, and that is ok! We as therapists anticipate that it will take some time for us to build a trusting relationship. This is another reason why finding a therapist that is a good fit for you is so important.
Another component within honesty and transparency in therapy is letting your therapist know if you aren’t feeling like you are making the progress you want, or if you aren’t feeling comfortable talking about certain things. We are here to support you and your goals, and if you are feeling like something is off, we want you to feel safe and supported in telling us so. A good therapist will hear your concerns and work with you to adjust what is happening in the therapy hour or even refer you to another provider that may better meet your needs. As therapists, we will respect your boundaries because that allows for more trust to be built, and creates the conditions that allow for honesty and transparency.
Using your time outside of your therapy hour
The hour you spend in therapy is an hour of close personal connection focused on your wellbeing, but it is only an hour. You spend far more time living your life outside of the therapy space, so it can be important to use your time outside of therapy to reflect on the hour with your therapist, maybe try new things, reflecting more, or working on some concrete skills that may aid in your growth. This process will look different for every individual, but using your time outside of therapy can help you to get more out of your investment.
Willingness to be uncomfortable
One of the risks in therapy that I discuss with my clients is that there is a potential that things might feel worse for a time before things feel better. This happens in the therapy space because we are often processing things that may feel intense and overwhelming for a time or you are making shifts in how you navigate your environments. This is not easy work and can be taxing on your energy. This is something that can feel uncomfortable for a time, but with supportive therapy, the period of uncomfortability won’t last forever. Therapy is a situation where the risk is worth the reward if you are able to trust yourself to be uncomfortable and if you can trust your therapist to support you in your therapeutic journey.
Therapist fit, honesty and transparency, your time and your willingness to trust yourself, are just a few of the components to making the most out of your time in therapy. Good therapists know how difficult it can be to be vulnerable and reach out for help. I feel honored to be able to sit with clients in their vulnerability and I am thankful for the trust my clients place in me.
If you have been in therapy before, what tips would you share with others to help them get the most out of their investment into themselves?